Article
Having a competitive
friend can be a difficult experience, everything they do is to prove in one way
or another that they are better than you or more better off than you are,
rather than enjoying your successes and celebrating your accomplishments. Jumia
Travel, the leading online travel agency, shares 7 ways to deal with a
competitive friend.
Try
to be understanding
It goes without saying
that it’s not right to judge a person till you have been or at least tried to
be in their shoes. Your overly competitive friend probably has self-esteem
issues that’s stirring up this jealousy and competitiveness in them. This
doesn’t excuse their behavior but it does help you see where they are coming
from and potentially help them.
Talk
to them
Sometimes your friends
might not even know that they are being competitive. Try talking to them and
let them know your feelings about the situation. Stage a kind of intervention
where you calmly relate with them and give instances of their competitiveness
(preferably with evidence or with a witness, who might also be a close friend),
with the intention of helping them in any way you can.
Ensure
you keep your cool
As much as possible try
not to lose your temper with them, even if your intervention fails and they end
up defending themselves and their actions. Walk away from the scene if you have
to. You have to remember that getting angry will not help the situation. Once
you’re calm, it’ll be easier for you to figure out what next to do.
Recognize
their good qualities
Competitiveness is an
obnoxious quality that has a way of overshadowing the good qualities that a
person might have. Try not to let that be the case with your friend. Make an
effort to recognize the good qualities that attracted you to the friend in the first
place.
Be
supportive
You can try to be more
supportive to your friend in an attempt to show that not everything is a race
or competition. Sometimes you can just let them win, the key word here is
‘sometimes’. Try acknowledging their accomplishments, give them the praise they
desperately seek and you may find that their competitiveness wanes while they
learn from the good behavior you have modeled for them to follow.
Find
the positive side
Find ways to make your
friend’s competitiveness an asset to your friendship. Typically, competitive
people are hard-working, are willing to make sacrifices, take on extra
responsibilities and tend to get the job done. These are all useful qualities.
Simply find ways to share a common goal with your friend, so their qualities
and zeal can be used to your advantage.
Have
boundaries/limits
You need to know when
enough is enough, and more than that you need to be able to differentiate
between a friend that’s only competitive and one that’s just plain envious of
you. Most times, unfortunately the two go hand in hand. You should have a line
that your friend, with all of his/her competitiveness, must not cross and you
should be able to stick up for yourself when that line is crossed and shut the
behaviour down. Remember, friendship is not by force and ending the friendship
is an option if things start to escalate.
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